“You can’t worry yourself to wisdom” Dicken Bettinger
Have you ever read a self-help book that skillfully outlines a new technique in a series of steps and, when you give it a try yourself, things don’t work out as the book said it would?
Maybe, if you’re like me, you’ve felt disillusioned and frustrated and end up throwing the book and the super-duper technique in the bin?
Nothing works quite as we think it will.
Life is rarely the plain sailing from A to B that we imagine it to be on our beautifully created vision boards or expertly documented process charts.
We envisage the outcomes and the destination, but rarely the living of each step moment by moment.
We don’t envisage the diversions, the blockages, the bumps, the valleys, the stop signs or the traffic lights.
We want to get there now. To feel the rewards now. And the challenges are simply not part of the plan.
Yet life is filled with bumps because we’re not in control of what happens.
Honestly, we’re not. Yet we live in an illusion that we’re very much in control. In control of our teams, our children, our projects, our careers, our holidays, our wedding day, our everything.
There’s a lot of plates to spin in this world of control and it can be so very exhausting.
We believe that the tighter we make the plan, the more steps, the more detail, the more analysis and the more desperately we want the outcome, the more control we will have.
But the reality is different.
The more we reside in our head and grab hold of fears, doubts, worries, plans, details, analysis, judgement and control, the noisier our mind becomes and the further we are from our greatest resource; a high quality mind.
The more we tighten our grip on life and tighten our grip on conjuring up a certain outcome, the harder and more exhausting life becomes.
We lose perspective and shut the door on seeing the potential and possibility in each and every moment as we tirelessly stick with a plan like a dog with a bone.
Having worked with people in the midst of crisis, I’ve seen two types of people. There are people in a crisis with a crisis mindset filled with debilitating fears and worries. So much psychological interference there’s no room prospect of a clear mind. Then there are those in a crisis but without a crisis mindset liberated to think clearly in each and every moment and moved to take step by step of wise and grounded action. I know which one I would want if I’m facing a crisis.
Creativity and resilience are always available to us when we understand how our minds work. Wise and esponsive action that gives us what we need, when we need it. Not a week before or even an hour before, but in the moment we need it.
The more we trust the incredible design of the human operating system, the more we see it helps us the most when we drop our exhausting psychological interference and take the weight off of our minds.
From that place, everything looks clearer.